The iPhone launched today, and what would otherwise be a joyous occasion for Apple fanboys and fangirls has been tainted by none other than Sad Keanu. Why so sad, Keanu? Well, you see, the iPhone 4 is hot, slim, it has a killer screen, front facing camera and so much more – but it is also plagued with reports of inexcusable issues. And just what might those be, you ask?

First is the antenna. Integrating the component responsible for sending and receiving radio frequency into the frame is a brilliant idea. But uh oh! Touching the frame has apparently caused the signal to cut out almost completely! Sad Keanu hangs his head because he can’t call his buddies. Apple, you should really look into this issue with the iPhone 4. It is unacceptable.

There are also reports hitting the web that the high-definition retina display has a jaundice tinge on some handsets. So much for quality control. Perhaps comparing it to other iPhone displays make the problem a little more pronounced than it should be, but there are bands and spots on the screen that appear to be yellow in tint and tone. This is definitely not going to cheer up Mr. Reeves.

And what about that chemically hardened glass? The one that’s supposed to be a bazillion times stronger than plastic and super duper invincible? Well, a few clumsy drops and it’s bye bye display. Sad Keanu prefers his iPhone 4 displays to be unscratched and not cracked, thank you very much.

One more thing — what is the deal with the white iPhone 4? Keanu is all about style and everyone is rocking a black iPhone; he doesn’t want to blend in with the rest of the sheep. It’s not going to come until the second half of July? Boo!

There you have it. Minor qualms and complaints, but it’s a well known fact that Sad Keanu has been distraught and dejected for quite some time now, so anything less than perfection just isn’t going to cut it. Chin up, Sad Keanu! Maybe Apple will fix these issues with the next batch.